Henana; the end

Hello all!
Well, the reason I was feeling so busy last week when I wrote you was because Cangleska hosted a family camp from Monday to Wednesday. They set up six tipis on the lawn, and several women came with their kids and stayed in the tipis for two nights. I camp from the Black Hills with my family on Monday morning, and stayed both nights there at the camp.
We had several activities for the kids which I helped with, including painting pillowcases, drumstick making, a treasure hunt, and games. Their ages varied so we had to be pretty flexible as to what we did with them. Over those two days, the women participated in cultural mapping, equine therapy, an inipi (sweat), and an ObGyn talk. I wasn't with them for the cultural mapping, but it sounds like it was very helpful. The purpose of it is to help them learn about their cultural heritage and how their culture has become what it is today. It helps them reclaim their own identity.
Cultural mapping was on the first day. Then that night after dinner, we sat around the campfire and talked for a long time. One of the women, Connie, whom I told you about before, had gone to see her cousin, whom I'll call Shirley. Then they walked back up and Connie brought Shirley into the camp with her. Shirley was sobbing.
At the time, she was taking care of nineteen kids, some of them her own, in her house (she now has twenty-two). Some of the kids are her sister's. Her sister and her sister's husband are both drunks. They had shown up that evening to take their kids back; they said they were moving to Rapid. But the kids all starting crying and running to Shirley, saying they didn't want to go with their mom; they wanted to stay with Shirley because she was the only one who took care of them. Their parents managed to haul them all into their car, but one got away and came to Shirley again. Shirley told her sister that if she was going to take her kids there was nothing she could do about it. She told her to take the kids' clothes and belongings, and to take anything else they needed, like food or other items; anything they wanted they could take. Then she left and came up to the camp with Connie.
She needed to talk so badly! We just listened to her for a long time, and finally went to sleep. I stayed in a tipi with Jenna and her mom Laura.
The next day, it turned out that Shirley's sister never left. Currently she is still around, still talking about moving to Rapid and living off Shirley. Anyway, that day Shirley went down and brought some kids up with her. By mid-day a couple of the girls had basically attached themselves to me!The activity that day was equine therapy, and I was able to participate in some of this when I wasn't with the kids. It seemed to be very effective. One of the exercises was a trust exercise: a woman would get on a horse bareback, and the horse would be led around the round pen while the woman sat with her eyes closed. She chose two supporters to hang onto her legs and walk around with her. I came over to watch this exercise. When it was Shirley's turn, she pointed to me and her cousin Connie for her supporters; both of us were outside the pen watching. She and Connie are very close, but I thought it was funny that she picked me because we had barely said two words to each other! But I did know some of her kids from the previous church game day, so maybe she recognized me.
When Shirley was getting on the horse, she climbed on from the side Connie was standing on. She slipped as she tried to climb up. Connie got nervous and didn't help her in time; I grabbed her arm from the other side. But then the horse shifted its weight and stepped on my bare toes; I yelled and this scared Connie even more! She started to back away. I held onto Shirley's arm and dug my elbow into the horse to get it to move its foot. Shirley finally got up, and the rest of the exercise went fine, but she was a little shaken.
The man who was leading this therapy chose to pause and talk with Shirley about that experience. Who were the people she trusted in her own life? Did she always choose reliable people? He also talked with Connie, who confessed that even though she cared about Shirley, she needed to look out for herself sometimes.
Jenna didn't want to do the exercise; she said she had trouble trusting people. One of Shirley's kids did the exercise twice with me as one of her supporters. She's so cute! Then I did it with Jenna and Shirley as supporters.
Norma led a sweat--inipi--that evening. At first, Jenna said she didn't think she wanted to participate. "I respect it," she said, "but I was born and raised a Christian."
So I said, "Well, you know, my Tunkasila does both."
"Really?"
"Yep, he goes to church Sunday morning and sweat Sunday evening. And he's a priest and he speaks Lakota."
"Oh, that's cool."
In the end she came. So did almost all the women except for those on their time. For Jenna and I, it was a first time, and some of the others hadn't been to one in many years. Before we started, Norma asked everyone to write something down about difficulties or bad things that had happened to them that they needed healing for. I tried hard to do this as well.
"Norma, pretty much everything I can think of, I've already had healing for."
"Then you're very lucky."
Then just before we went into the sweatlodge, each woman threw her paper into the fire.
If you've never seen one, a sweatlodge is a low, round, totally covered structure. Hot rocks are heated in a fire and placed in a pit in the center of the lodge. Then, during each round (there are four) the leader pours water over those rocks and the whole place heats up, much more than a sauna. The first round was the most difficult, and after that it cooled off. It wasn't even as bad as I thought it would be. The women prayed for each other and asked for prayer requests. During the second round we went around the circle and prayed, and Norma asked me to sing the one prayer song I know. During the third round we smoked the pipe, and the fourth round was a short 'wopila' (thanks) round. It was more relaxed than probably most, especially because there were some children there. It seemed to me that it was much like a typical Christian prayer group, except with sweat and the pipe. And it turned out that Jenna was very glad she had come. Everyone felt very good afterwards.
A couple of days later Laura went on to the shelter in Rapid City, and as far as I know she is there now. She is hoping to have surgery on her back soon and is working to get custody of Haley. Connie is still in the shelter with her two kids and is struggling to create a stable environment for them. Jenna has a job and is trying to put her life back together, to figure out herself. She wept on Wednesday, my last day.
"Why do you have to go?"
"Oh, we'll keep in touch."
"Do you promise?"
"I promise."
Last Sunday, Tunkasila did a mass in part Lakota as a favor to me. Then we had another lunch with everyone. The usual kids at church are so good. Earlier this summer Tunkasila and I did the prodigal son story with them using some of those materials some of you helped put together. They always take coloring pages home with them. They are back in school now, as is Christie, who is finishing her degree. Oh, and some new people are moving into the rectory. Aldo and his family moved out to a trailer in the country after his wife finished the women's program at Cangleska.
After church that day we had our last game day. I had a whole bunch of the kids from Shirley's house. They can be a little rowdy all together, but I was impressed this time with their behavior. They really look out for each other too: I didn't have any problem getting them to share when I ran out of "busy bags" for prizes at the end. And they picked up all the trash and things they had left lying around.
But it is clear that their values differ depending on who their parents are. Two girls were playing with some Barbies that had been left at the church: one of them was Shirley's daughter, one of them her niece. After I drove them home, I stopped and chatted with Shirley for awhile. After a few minutes, Shirley's daughter walked out and handed me a Barbie. She told me that the other girl, Shirley's niece, had tried to take it.
Shirley, Connie, and Jenna attend a bible study on Wednesday nights. I went out there on Wednesday with Shirley (the other two were busy). It's amazing to me how hungry Shirley is for the gospel, for some good news in her life, and how she has hardly ever heard it before. She even asked me to share some of my knowledge with her, and I have promised to keep in touch with her and her kids.
One small part of the experience was that I came home broke. By the end of the trip I didn't even know how I was getting my next meal, except for dinner and my uncle's house. Needless to say this ended when I arrived home, but is still affecting me. But the interesting thing was--how would I ever experience this otherwise? This is the way that the majority of the world lives. There is a deeply ingrained sense of 'fairness' in me--something like, if there are people in the world who don't know where their next meal will come from, why should I? And if they can rely on God to provide for them, why can't I? And so I have come to the realization that this is the way I am going to live my life. It's not about how much money I have, but about an attitude towards wealth. That small experience, I feel, has brought me a little closer to my impoverished relatives.
I don't think I could ever tell you everything about this summer. I promised to keep in touch with many people, and there are several projects I want to follow and support. It has been good for me personally as well; I slept well, I exercised, I took time for Scripture each day. In many ways the things that have begun this summer will not end simply because I am in Minnesota again. It was hard to leave, even though I was homesick. And it does feel strange to be in the wasicu world again.
I hope this was at least somewhat coherent! I feel I had better leave it there, but if you want to know more about my summer, just ask. It has truly done its part to shape who I am, and the work I have become involved in there is far from finished.
Mitakuye Oyas'in
-Jenny