Tunkasila

First, fun facts--If you haven't caught on yet, Tunkasila (or Tunkasida) means grandfather (It's what I call Fr. Apple most of the time). It is also used to refer to Wakantanka, or God, the way we say "Father" when referring to God. There are also four beings called tunkasila in each of the four directions, and these are referred to in the four direction prayer.

The dynamics between Tunkasila and I have changed over the past couple of years. He's become more open, and more blunt, with me. And it's become easier for me to understand him and pick up on how he is feeling. But there's something else: For the most part, it's in my nature to listen to him quietly most of the time, especially because he's an elder. But increasingly, he asks for my opinion on things and I found out recently that I don't speak up often enough! So that's something I'm trying to work on when we talk. But in a way it means that I have to listen even more, because I need to understand what he is teaching or telling me so that I can respond intelligently. The latest thing is that he's asked me to give feedback on the church--Wi Wicahpi as well as the wider church on the rez--at the end of my summer. So I think I will write him an email soon. I have a lot of thoughts and ideas, and I will share them with you too if you are interested.
Two weeks ago, I hung around after the game day, talking with Christie, Sheryl, and their cousin Beth, and then talking with Tunkasila. It had actually turned out that when I went to pick up pops and lock up the church, he asked where I was and said he wanted to speak with me. It made me a little nervous when Sheryl told me this, but it shouldn't have. He wanted to tell me that he was suffering from four bad things that had happened recently, but that he had managed to balance it out with four good things. I didn't say much, but did a lot of thinking as I listened. Sometimes I think so much about the rez that my head hurts. I have felt my heart ache so many times this summer.
Then at sunset, we drove out to see Freda's gravesite. It's in the cemetery near the little church they used to go to ("I used to think that was a cathedral!" he said). I was unsure of how to behave while doing this. But Tunkasila was fine--I think he's healed more than I knew in some ways. He pointed out the headstone. It's some kind of beautiful dark stone, engraved with the head of an eagle, a pipe ('peace pipe'), and two crosses. I'm not sure if I'll ever know whether Freda struggled with reconciling her traditional ways with Christianity the way others have. "My wife was a cradle Christian," Tunkasila always says. Then we prayed briefly and drove back.
There was something I'd been thinking about a lot, because it's something Tunkasila always talks about with me. "So, Tunkasila," I said, "What if the reason the church is struggling so bad is that it's getting ready for revival?" I'm not sure if I said that very well. The idea I had in my head had to do with the whole rez; something along the lines of all the corruption that the church had brought to Indian country needing to be demolished so that God can really get to work, something like burning bridges, something like rebirth, something like maybe going back to square one and starting over was the only way reconciliation could ever happen. I'm not sure if I conveyed that.
"Oh, revival? Yeah, that's why I want to talk to that new Catholic priest about doing some things with the drum..."
Earlier this summer, I had pressed him about where he thought the church was headed, what needed to happen next. And he told me that he wants to sort-of re-work the services, incorporating the drum and other traditions into worship. But I don't think he wants to do this alone. So he's been waiting for this new Catholic priest to arrive so he can talk to him about collaborating on this. I think they're meeting on Wednesday. But, I keep thinking, what if he doesn't want to collaborate? What if nothing comes of this meeting? Who will help Tunkasila? So, please pray for him that God would provide the means for this to happen in accordance with His will. There are things that I can do, and perhaps even have done this summer, but I cannot help with this; I can only pray. But I feel in my heart that it is of utmost importance, that much hangs on it. Not necessarily this meeting with this Catholic priest, but this idea in general. It's the only thing I've ever gotten out of Tunkasila about a direction or goal for Wi Wicahpi, and I guess that's why I feel it's important. So your prayers are much needed. Pidamayayapi!

Mitakuye Oyas'in
-Jenny

Han mikodapida

Hello my friends!
Phew, what a week! I've just gotten some down time today and that was really good. But I'll tell you about this week later. I want to back up a little bit because I promised you stories, and so much has happened! But these stories aren't for the weak-hearted...so now I've warned you.
Remember Haley and Marshal? I've seem quite a bit of them and their mom and grandma. Both Denise (fake name for their mom) and Laura (fake name for their grandma) are living in abusive situations. Denise was in the shelter for awhile, and Laura, who takes care of the kids part-time, is in our women's program.
I'd play with Haley and Marshal (and Caitlin, the baby) often while I was hanging out with the women in the shelter. It surprised me a little bit how different they acted around Denise. They misbehaved more, hit each other and things like that. And then when I would tell them to stop, Denise would say, "Don't be afraid to just hit them." I said little in response to this.
Laura was essentially homeless. I'll try to get a picture of the little covering where she slept if I can. She has an old engine-less van to keep her stuff in, but she lived pretty much outside--with an abusive man. She needs to have a rod put in her back to correct the damage from her last beating, but the doctors won't do surgery until she is safe. The last time those three kids came into shelter, they were covered in what looked like chicken pox. It turned out to be mosquito and/or flea bites from staying with Laura.
And it's not that Denise is homeless. It's just that three kids is way more that she can handle. Maybe that's even part of the reason she keeps going back to her man. The last time they were in the shelter, Haley started acting out and Denise got frustrated. Finally she threatened to send Haley back to her dad, and Haley started screaming and crying in a tantrum like I've never seen before.
There is a tradition of adoption--they call it "hunka" when it goes along with a ceremony--in Lakota culture. They say that adopted relatives are even stronger than blood relatives. Laura has an adopted daughter (Denise's adopted sister) whom I'll call Jenna. She came into shelter about the time Denise was last here, and she's incredibly sweet and talkative. Somehow we randomly struck up a conversation about horror movies and Stephen King--I think it was because we were watching a scary Lifetime movie. Anyway, a day or two later, I came in and found out that Denise had just left that morning, without even taking her things with her. So I sat and talked with Jenna for a long time. She showed me pictures of her six kids. Three of them live with one family member and three with another. The eldest, I would find out later, was born because Jenna was raped by her gym teacher when she was fifteen. The girl, who is now fourteen, doesn't know that.
One picture she showed me was of Denise with a bruised face. Jenna said, "I took this the last time she got her nose broken so I can remind her of what it was like. But she won't even look at it." Jenna was clearly upset that Denise had gone back to her man, but didn't have much to say about it.
That was on a Friday. It turned out that that weekend, some of the women went away to see family members, and Jenna was left all alone in the shelter. She told me the next week that she was very lonely, and even wanted to call her ex-boyfriend to come get her. Her bruises and scars were still healing even then. And not only that, but Denise had called and tried to convince her to go back.
"Do you think she just wants you to because she did?"
"Yeah, I think so."
"Well, I'm glad you didn't."
Later that week, Jenna and I were cleaning up from some event or other, and I mentioned something about going home. She looked stressed and said,"When are you going home?"
"On August 30th."
"Oh no, all my good friends are leaving me!"
I felt horrible watching her face as she said this. She's been trying to guilt me into staying, but I promised her that we'll keep in touch.
Another woman in the shelter right now has two kids, and I'll call her Connie. She's really funny; she and Jenna started telling me stories about how they once got into a big fight in Pine Ridge (the town which they're both from) about a year ago. And I don't mean the kind of passive-aggressive fight we're used to, I mean the hitting and hair-pulling that's really common around here. When some friends finally pulled them apart and asked why they were fighting, they both said, "I dunno!" It turned out to be a misunderstanding. Later, they ended up working together at the local grocery store, and are now friends.
I think that's enough stories about these women for now. I'll fill you in about them later.
Mitakuye Oyas'in
-Jenny

Pidamayayapi

Hello all!
There are so many things I want to tell you about, that I decided I can't do it all in one email. So you may get a few from me over the next few days. First, I want to say thank you to all of you who have sent items for the church and/or encouragement for me. You know who you are ;)
One thing I want to make sure I tell you about is last Sunday's game day. It went really well. We had about 8-10 kids, and they all had a great time. There were several very rambunctious boys, so that made things sort of hectic for me.
The funny thing is, I didn't think I did a very good job with those kids. There just weren't really enough games or people to keep them all occupied at once. But I asked them what they thought when I took them home, and they all said they really had a good time. It's just the kind of play time and/or adult attention that a lot of them never get. Also, I sent them home with bags of crayons, prizes, etc. and that was a big hit.
Like last time, I didn't do any teaching. I just wanted to raise awareness about the church.
I have plans to do one more of these on the 26th.
Also last Sunday, I brought some subs that I had bought at Wal-Mart for the church crowd. This was a huge success. If possible, I'd like to do a family picnic, maybe even advertised, on the 26th along with the game day.
Ok, so that's just the information about what's coming up. I have some stories to share with you about both Cangleska and the church, and I'll put those in another email.
Mitakuye Oyas'in
-Jenny